When I began writing, I was attached to the idea of trying to write a novel because that’s what all the “experts” were talking about. If you weren’t writing a novel, you weren’t going to be taken seriously.

I struggled immensely; but I kept moving forward because I was going to write a novel, dammit!

And I did it with my first book, just sliding in under the wire of the minimum word count that would classify it as a novel.

But I realized something after all the effort I put into that story. Novel writing isn’t my strength.

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Intuitively, I knew I couldn’t keep up the pace of trying to write a novel every time I sat down with pencil and paper, so I embraced the idea of short stories and novellas when I found a rare corner of the internet where such things were being discussed without the usual elitism that came with the novel writing culture in a lot of circles at the time.

It was a blessed relief. I found my writing sweet spot.

Here I am, 28 stories later and still going. I don’t think that would have happened if I had kept on trying to write longer works.

Why does this matter?

It matters because I know there are people out there who aren’t writing the way they were meant to write. They aren’t leaning into their sweet spot, which is making their author journey much harder than it needs to be.

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I spent last week in meditation and reflection and was quickly reminded that one of my Priestess gifts is getting things down to the essence. This is something I hadn’t previously connected to my writing. I picked up on it intuitively when I began letting myself write shorter, more concise works, but I hadn’t consciously made the connection that the structure of my writing is an outward expression of one of my spiritual gifts.

Writing a novel is a different talent than writing a novella or a short story. Novels can paint vivid, enthralling pictures for people who want someone else to set the scene for them. There is often intricate world-building with descriptions of specific colors, sounds, textures, etc. And there are certain brain styles that thrive on the excellent execution of this art.

Novellas and short stories get down to the essence of the story quickly. They leave a lot of things open for the reader to interpret on their own, which works wonderfully for people who enjoy letting their imagination run free, filling in the details of the story to their own specifications as they read.

I am here to give a blueprint of the story. The basic essence of which a reader can build on to create their own immersive adventure.

I’m glad I had the intuition to take a different path and explore the idea of writing shorter works. I’m more satisfied with the overall writing experience now that I’m leaning into my gift of distilling things down rather than trying to make myself fit industry expectations.

If you’re finding yourself disenchanted with your work. Examine it from a different angle. Are you writing in your sweet spot?

And this doesn’t only apply to the length of your work. Is the current genre you’re writing in one that speaks to your creative Muse? If not, maybe it’s time to explore a different one. Are you tired of the main trope rut you seem to have fallen into? Explore a new one.

Oftentimes, that struggle we feel sitting down to write isn’t because we’ve lost the will to create. Sometimes that “writer’s block” isn’t because our Muse is silent - it’s because we’ve got a hand over her mouth preventing her from exercising her full expression. We’re forcing her into our expectation rather than letting her lead us into the realm of possibility with wild abandon.

Even with nearly 30 published works out in the wild, writing novellas and short stories remains a practice. Every story is a chance to refine my skill of getting down to what really matters about the tale being spun. Each deep dive into the pool of imagination is sacred time spent in communion with my Muse finding the pearl in the oyster of story-weaving.

The decision to write novellas and short stories honors my gift of being able to quintessentialize.

So, I leave you with these questions…

Where could you lean more fully into your innate gifts on your writing journey?

Where is your Muse wanting to be more freely expressed?

Are you being asked to distill down and get clearer?

More isn’t always better.

It shouldn’t have to be clarified, but this is the world we live in now: this article is written by a human.

Buy Me A Tea

There’s a word that’s haunted me for most of my life. The label was placed on me as a young child and has dogged my steps into adulthood. It’s a contender for nemesis status, if I’m being honest. And the first time a teacher used it to describe one of my children, I went straight past anger into incandescence.

This four-letter word is more vile and damaging than your general four-letter curse word because it seems so innocuous. It hangs out in commonly approved vocabulary. It’s an accepted label when someone isn’t meeting expectations.

They’re not struggling…

… they’re just LAZY.

GO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP!

Out of all the words that damaged me as a child, this one did the most. It created a perfectionist workaholic.

I wasn’t lazy, dammit. I’m neurodivergent.

Of course, no one knew that back then. My parents didn’t have the resources available we have now to understand how my brain works. But even still, I don’t know if they had access they would have used them. My father still firmly believes being neurodivergent means fundamentally flawed and refuses to even attempt to recognize how our brains differ and need support. (But that’s a whole other conversation).

I’ve been working since I was a teenager, and I’ve been working hard. In everything I’ve chosen for a career, I’ve gone all-in from day one. I woke up with it on my mind. I went to bed with it on my mind. Some nights, work followed me into my dreams.

Because, my good b*tch, I’m not f*cking lazy!

It’s a narrative woven into our collective. Your value is directly determined by your productivity. We champion people working 80+ hours a week as dedicated. Even working moms are touted as “superwomen” because they juggle a job AND kids.

You’re killing yourself. Slowly. Painfully. And you’re applauded for it.

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There’s another four-letter word we need to adopt. We need to reclaim it and hold it close. Honor it. Practice it.

REST.

I won’t lie; this has been one of my biggest challenges in becoming an author. Nearly eight years ago when I began this journey, that abhorrent lazy label was still breathing down my neck.

Push for more words today. Publish a book every three months. Enroll in ten marketing classes. Post three times a day on social media.

I was still trying to prove I’m not lazy. And it led to multiple burnouts. The last of which I nearly didn’t come back from.

Here’s the thing…

Everyone may have the same twenty-four hours in a day, but not everyone one has the same amount of energy available during those twenty-four hours.

This isn’t a failing.

We’re made differently.

Just like we all have different strengths and skill sets, we all have different energy thresholds.

When you try to push beyond what your brain and body will allow, you damage yourself. And if you’re not careful, that damage can become permanent.

Every time a person has a burnout, there’s the possibility they will lose some skills. I noticed it after my last one. I used to be a great speller. Now, I have to look up words because I can’t remember if I spelled them correctly. Or sometimes, I spell words phonetically even though I know that’s not the way they are supposed to be spelled. It makes editing a real pain in the a**.

Something else I’ve noticed after the last major burnout is that I have even less energy reserve than I used to. I have about 2-3 high-energy hours during any given day. That means anything requiring significant energy output must be done during that time, or it’s not going to get done. That often means I don’t publish a lot of books during a year because it takes me twice as long to write them now.

At this point in time, when people label me lazy because I am unable to be “productive” to their expectations, I take a breath and then mentally give them the finger - because f*ck them and their judgments. I’m no longer going to work myself to illness and misery to satisfy an unhealthy expectation.

And you shouldn’t feel obligated to either.

Something wonderful started happening when I began giving myself days off.

On the days I do write, the words flow easier. I make more progress than I expect. Fresh story ideas come to me. And I’m happier. I have more time to enjoy my work and my life.

So, go ahead. Kick the lazy label to the curb and give yourself permission to rest.

You’re valuable just because you are a human being.

You don’t have anything to prove.

It shouldn’t have to be clarified, but this is the world we live in now: this article is written by a human.

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CW: Death

Over my years of writing, I’ve heard people ask in whispers, “why do some authors write such dark things?”

In public, they judge the darkness being presented to them. Then they read the stories in secret, so no one knows they resonate with it. Something has a hold of them, pulling them in. They don’t know what it is and they fear it.

I don’t remember the exact ‘what if’ question that connected me with Belladonna and René, but whatever it was, I’m grateful for it.

Corpse Pixie wasn’t planned. Belladonna began speaking to me about her life and I wrote down what was coming through. René was a tougher nut to crack, but eventually, he gave up his secrets, too. Because the story needed to be told.

At the time, I didn’t understand how revealing Corpse Pixie would be, but looking back, it’s crystal clear what its purpose was. It was my way of processing a fear of death.

On the surface, Corpse Pixie is a fictional Urban Fantasy Paranormal Romance novella meant to entertain and provide an escape. But underneath that, it’s pointing out how little control we have over our inevitable exit from this mortal coil.

Most of us don’t know when it will happen. Most people don’t see it coming. One day you turn around, and Death is there in front of you holding out Her hand.

At least, that’s how it seems.

But in truth, Death walks with us every day. She isn’t hiding. Every moment has a beginning and an end. Seasons have a beginning and end. Phases of life have a beginning and end… careers, relationships…

We pretend we can’t see Her because we can’t control Her, and that’s terrifying. Most of us want the illusion of control so we can pretend we’ll never have to face the Dark Goddess, when what we need to be doing is holding hands with the Darkness.

I haven’t mastered that yet. Birthing Corpse Pixie into the world was the beginning. There’s still a long journey ahead for me when it comes to acceptance.

I’ve said goodbye to several people over the last few years. I’ll never stop grieving them. I wonder where they are now. Which spiritual path has it right? Maybe they are nowhere… maybe they are everywhere.

It’s the Unknown that becomes my demon. She’s manipulative. She’s cunning. She takes what She wants without any regard to my wishes.

But that’s just my fear talking.

Maybe one day, I’ll learn how to take Her hand in the small things… learn to let go when I want to hold on. Learn to appreciate each phase of life while I’m living it but step into the next without attachments to the past. Learn to value relationships while I have them and release them when it’s time. Learn to trust She’s not out to destroy me or take the people I love because She wants me to be alone. Maybe one day, like René, I’ll learn to love Her.

So, the next time you find yourself drawn to a dark book, look past the surface. Not every book has a deeper meaning, but you won’t know until you investigate.

Dark subject matter is often uncomfortable, but it speaks to us because it’s part of our natural world. There’s a reason we seek it out, even as we fear it.

When the Darkness reaches out, are you ready to take Her hand?

Note: Stretching yourself to read something uncomfortable isn’t the same thing as forcing yourself to read content that legitimately triggers you. Please use your best judgment and protect your mental health.

It shouldn’t have to be clarified, but this is the world we live in now: this article is written by a human.

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When I first got serious about writing, I did what a lot of new authors do - flooded my mind with all kinds of tips, tricks, and advice.

Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with seeking out information. In fact, it’s necessary so you can break the “rules” effectively later. But what often happens is that new authors feel like they’re drinking from a firehose. There’s too much information coming at them too fast. Not to mention the sheer number of choices you have to make. Decision paralysis, anyone?

Additionally, the information is often contradictory. You’re trying to implement everything being offered, even though it’s all working against itself. Then you find yourself burned out because you’ve been going ninety to nothing, but at the same time spinning your wheels. Now, you hate writing and never want to see another piece of paper or open another Word document ever again.

I’ve been there. In true human fashion, I didn’t get the message the first time going around that mountain. Or the second time. I had several hard burnouts before I realized I needed to find a way up the mountain instead of merely circling it. Yeah, I was doing a lot of things. I was busy. But being busy isn’t the same thing as being productive.

During the last major burnout, I said to myself, “Self, you know this isn’t working. Why the f*ck do you keep doing it?”

Uhhhhh… yeah. About that…

I was doing what most of us do - trying to fit in.

It’s an old habit from my childhood. Back then, I didn’t know I was Neurodivergent. I didn’t understand why I was different and spent a lot of time observing other people to try to grasp what the expectations were. And somehow, I still never got it quite right. That core wound carried over into adulthood. I was still trying to meet expectations I didn’t fully understand.

The Universe finally got tired of waiting for me to get it and said, “No ma’am. No more of that business.”

That was when I started to understand that my Priestess Practice isn’t something I do independently from my writing. My Practice is something that’s supposed to guide my writing.

I can’t write with outlines and story structure guidelines. I can’t identify tropes on my own or write-to-market. I can’t even be consistent about the number of words I write in a day, or how often I write. Those pieces of advice I got in the beginning turned out to be a hindrance more than a help.

For me, the stories must come spontaneously. I’m doing the dishes and a character starts speaking to me. I’m driving and the question “what if…” pops into my head. A dream plays out in such vivid detail I could swear it’s actually happening, and upon awakening I’ve been given the next part of whatever my current WIP is.

There is no method to the chaos. There is no logic in the process.

And this is Priestess Practice… listening to the Universe, and plucking different strings out of thin air that I can weave together into a work of art.

But you know what?

Even discovering early on that my Priestess Practice was an integral part of my writing process, I still didn’t fully surrender to it. I kept one foot on the ground and one foot on the hamster wheel. And let me tell you, that is PAINFUL. Like doing the splits with cold muscles. You’re going to injure something, no doubt.

It has taken eight long years. Eight years of struggle. Eight years of disappointment. Eight years of investing in a bunch of stuff I never should have put resources into. It’s taken eight years for me to FINALLY say, “okay, I surrender.”

I’ve taken a step back and begun to excise anything that’s sucking my soul dry. Rapid release deadlines. Keeping up with perceived reader expectations. Trying to get reviews on my books. Studying trends. Participating in toxic industry groups because I feel I have to stay connected to what’s going on. Posting on every social media platform known to man hoping the algorithm decides to show my posts to someone.

No more.

I know better.

I’m fully embracing the path that’s meant for me to walk in order to do my best work.

And that means trusting the Universe to lead the right people to me or guide me to the places I need to show up.

It means taking time in the morning to do Yoga, so my body is healthy and my mind is quiet enough to hear what’s trying to come through during meditation.

It means not writing every single day so my mind can rest and my Muse can play.

It means no more investment in a plethora of ads or ineffective private author coaching and instead, making more time for conversations and creating community.

It means remembering what my spiritual strengths are and using those as a guidepost to inform my writing.

It means being clear about my boundaries and what resonates in my soul.

It means allowing myself not to be in control of everything at all times. I think that’s the scariest part of all. I’m walking into the Unknown with no map, only trust.

Is this the “right” way to write?

I don’t know.

But I know it’s right for me.

It shouldn’t have to be clarified, but this is the world we live in now: this article is written by a human.

Who is Running this Chaos Carnival?

Naomi Valkyrie is an Author, Ordained Priestess, former Massage Therapist, Energy Therapist, Yoga Instructor, and Director of Domestic Operations in a Neurodivergent household.

Most days Naomi can be found immersed in a good book, or writing one. On occasion, she enjoys coloring, word puzzles/searches, and exploring ancestry. When those hobbies fail to keep her interest, you might find her watching Star Trek, I Love Lucy, Scooby-Doo, or other classic TV shows just to switch things up.

What is Kaleidoscope Muse?

Kaleidoscope Muse is a branch off the Kaleidoscope Romance website where I house my full book catalog (under a few different pen names) and several other book related things.

Kaleidoscope Romance is a book community for the misfits, the outliers, the readers who march to the beat of their own drum, and the authors who give convention the middle finger, writing completely at the whims of their muse.

Because my spiritual practice tends to tie into my writing process, you’ll find some Priestess-y things here at Kaleidoscope Muse, too.

Where You Can Find Me

Outside of Substack, you can find KR on BlueSky, Mastodon, and the Kaleidoscope Romance website.

Why I Write

Unlike a lot of people who start a writing journey, I didn’t have a childhood dream of becoming an author. It wasn’t until my early 40s I realized it was even an option.

I spent nearly 20 years practicing massage therapy in conjunction with energy work and teaching Yoga; but doing so much massage finally took its toll on my body and I had to stop.

Along with the life change of losing my career, there came another initiation. In the process of having my kids evaluated, I learned I am Neurodivergent.

Overall, this was a positive discovery. For the first time, life made sense. And yet, it was still a challenge. I had to grieve the life I could have had if I’d known this information in my childhood.

But of course, the Universe has a stellar sense of humor and decided I needed one more thing to wrangle. I entered the transition to becoming a Crone. There’s nothing quite like the Universe putting you inside a snow globe and giving you a hearty shake.

In the midst of all this upheaval, I decided to go all-in on writing. Initially, writing was something I just wanted to see if I could do. But it became an extraordinary channel with which to process all the moving pieces of my life as they shifted around to create something new. Writing has been one of the best transformational tools I’ve had access to as I’ve navigated the choppy waters of mid-life.

Somewhere out there, someone needs to know they aren’t alone. Someone else has been through the storms, too.

Stories are the way we connect to each other on a soul level. The words we write can resonate with someone else deep in their being. In that moment, regardless of whether it’s a spiritual musing, a fictional tale, or me ranting about an everyday annoyance, we are existing in resonance with each other. We see each other. We hold each other in that space, even if we are not physically in the same place.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I keep doing it.

Want in on this Somewhat Organized Chaos?

If you’re ready to join this chaos carnival, there’s never been a better time to subscribe. Currently, it’s free. I may add paid subscriptions later, but for now, you can gift me a tea HERE if you’d like to help me keep my writing going. Every little bit is appreciated.

Many blessings and happy reading!

-NV-